I'm a SeeD get me out of here!
by Sneasel999
Summary: See what happens when seven ff8 characters are dumped in the Austalian jungle!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Unfortunatley, I didn't exactly make up I'm a SeeD get me out of here _. This story is based up on the Uk. Television show 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here.' Oh yeah and I don't own SeeD or any of the characters in this story. They all belong to square.  
  
Introduction  
  
"Hello! I'm Kara and he's Chris and welcome to 'I'm a SeeD, get me out of here!' The show that takes seven contestants, and dumps them all in an Australian jungle for seven weeks! Oh yeah and there's a little camp set up for them there of course."  
  
"Yes that's right Kara. But not all of them will be there for seven weeks, no. Each week, one of the contestants will be voted out and can go back home! The last contestant remaining will be crowned the king-"  
  
"Or queen!"  
  
"Okay Kara, will be crowned the king or queen of the jungle."  
  
"Throughout the seven weeks, certain contestants will be voted to do bush tucker trials. Bush tucker trials are unpleasant tasks that the contestants have to complete, in order to win meals. Also, each week, two contestants will be on treasure duty and will have to find a treasure chest and bring it back to camp. In side the chest there is a question which you can answer A or B to. There are two compartments in the chest one labeled A and another B. The whole camp has to agree on a correct answer to the question. If they answer A they open the A compartment and if they answer B they open the B compartment. If they have answered correctly they get a good item in the compartment that they have opened."  
  
"Have you told them about the bush telegraph?"  
  
"Oh yeah, the bush telegraph is-"  
  
"NO!!! I'm telling this one! Anyway, the bush telegraph is a little hut where the contestants can tell us about any problems that they are having. They also come here to tell us who they want to get voted out."  
  
"Thank-you Chris. I think that's about everything that you need to know! Don't worry, because 'I'm a SeeD get me out of here' will be coming to your screens very shortly. Until then, sit back, relax, review.. 


	2. The Interview

"Hello and welcome back to I'm a SeeD get me out of here! Today me and Chris are going to have a chat with the seven contestants before they are dumped in the jungle!"

"Yeah, that's right! So come on, lets go and listen to our first contestant…"

The Interview 

Chris: Hey Squall!

Squall: Um….hi.

Kara: How are you feeling today?

Squall: Alright…I guess.

Chris: Well, are you looking forward to being in the Australian jungle? 

Squall: ……no.

Kara: Okaaay, moving swiftly onwards to contestant number two.

Chris: Zell, how's it going?

Zell: I'm feeling pretty damn good! But I have one worry.

Chris: What's that?

Zell: Will there be any hotdogs there?

Kara: No.

Zell: None?

Chris: None at all.

Zell: Well, then can I sneak some in without anyone knowing?

Kara:……….

Chris:………

Kara: You see, you've just told…

Chris: Great idea!

Zell: Yeah!

Kara: Never mind, lets get on to contestant number three. 

Chris: Seifer Almasy.

Kara: Yes, S-Seifer???

Seifer: That's ma name.

Kara: You're not a SeeD! 

Seifer: And…

Chris: Well the show _is_ called I'm a SeeD get me out of here!

Seifer: Yeah I know.

Chris: Well what the hell are you doing here?

Seifer: To get some extra gil.

Kara: Aaaaawwh, what charity are you gonna give to?

Seifer: CHARITY! YOU MEAN THE GIL THAT I GET IS GONNA GO TO SOME CHARITY!!!

Chris: Yeah, what did you think?

Seifer: What do think I thought!? 

Chris: Well I thought that you thought that the gil was going to a charity.

Seifer: No! I thought that I would get the gil!

Kara: Shut up, both of you! Let's go and see our next contestant.

Chris: Okay errrr Irvine Kinneas, right?

Irvine: Yup.

Chris: So Ir…

Kara: Hold on a sec, you're not a SeeD either!

Chris: Oh who cares?

Kara: I care, how do you guys get on this show?

Irvine: By lying, basically. 

Kara: Oh…well…Okay. At least you're truthful. 

Irvine: Sure am.

Kara: Yeah, um Chris?

Chris: Yes? Oh I mean, lets go on to contestant number five. Selphie Tilmitt!

Selphie: Hi Kara, hi Chris, hi mom. I'm on TV!!!

Kara: So Selphie, are you looking forward to this?

Selphie: YEAH! I am really excited!

Kara: What are you looking forward to most?

Selphie: Oh I dunno, all the cute little animals.

Chris: What, the deadly snakes?

Selphie: S-snakes??

Chris: Yes and spiders.

Selphie: S-spiders?? 

Chris: What's wrong with snakes and spiders?

Kara: You _are_ going to be in the Australian jungle.

Selphie: Beeeeeeeep.

Kara: Maybe we should move on to our next contestant.

Chris: Yes, Rinoa Heartily!

Kara: Rinoa, Rinoa? You're not a SeeD!

Rinoa: I didn't know that you had to be a SeeD to be on this show.

Kara: Does the name "I'm a SeeD get me out of here" mean anything to you people!?

Rinoa: Well, when you put it like that…

Chris: Oh Kara just calm down. Nobody really cares if she's a SeeD or not. Now Rinoa, do you think you could become the queen of the jungle?

Rinoa: I think I have a good chance of winning.

Chris: Right, now on to our last contestant, Quistis Trepe.

Kara: Yep now, Quistis, have you got any worries about the jungle?

Quistis: Not really, actually, I'm quite looking forward to being there.

Kara: Oh. Thank-you, Quistis.

Chris: I guess that's the end of our interview.

Kara: Not quite, we have to get the stuff off them…

Chris: Oh yeah!

Kara: Zell, hotdogs please.

Zell: Nooooooooo!

Chris: And everyone please hand over your weapons.

Everybody: Nooooooooo!!!

 "Next time on I'm a SeeD get me out of here the seven contestants, and us, will be somewhere in Australia. We bid you goodbye."


	3. Day one

"We are back and live-"

"And in Australia!!!"

"Um yes Chris _and_ we are in Australia. Anyway our seven contestants are now in the jungle, getting used to their surroundings but little do they know that we are reaching you from just a few minutes away from the camp!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What the hell was that?"

"What? My evil laug-ooooh you mean the snake that just slithered by your foot?"

"SNAKE!? AAAAAAAHHH!"

"Maybe we should cut to the chase, here is what happened in day one. Warning- contains distressing smells"

"Hey…there is no snake…. GRRRR…Chris!!!…"

                                                                     Day 1

Spirits were high in camp today, until everybody found out that, in fact, no alcoholic beverages would be served in camp-not even at nighttime. After finding this out, the mood was pretty low but Irvine tried to cheer matters up by telling a little story about the time he assassinated Edea. Everyone in camp had either heard this story about ten times already or actually watched it happen but they began to listen anyway. Irvine began. 

"Did I ever tell you about the time that I assassinated Edea?" There were a few groans and an especially big one from Squall who pointed out that Irvine didn't actually _assassinate _Edea properly. Then Seifer added that,

"Yeah, you acted like a complete wuss in other words." Irvine ignored this and carried on. 

"I knew that I had to shoot her but I just couldn't. I thought about how she had brought me up as a child, it just didn't feel fair. But then I realized that I had to do it. For the good of Dollet, no, for the good of the good of the world! So I shot her, it took all my strength but I did it." Everybody thought that Irvine had been drinking but he swore that he hadn't. Although there _was_ the incident where on the way to the camp, he tripped over a log and then started shouting at it and then every other log that he saw…

Seifer was the first one to brave the toilet or the 'hole in the ground as he called it.' He stole a book from Selphie but once he reached the toilet he realized that it was 'The Princess Diaries.' He frowned when he saw the name of it but started to read it anyway. After Seifer returned he warned every one not to go near the hole in the ground for a while, for health reasons. 

Quistis started to act a bit strange. Zell said that he was as bored as hell but then Quistis started to dance. Zell and Selphie joined her. Squall rolled his eyes and said they were embarrassing and then started to talk to Rinoa, and Seifer…he had kind of disappeared. 

Quistis then went bright red and yelled. 

"I can't take it!" And then ran off to go to the toilet. After she had gone Selphie said.

"Ooooh, that's why she was dancing.

When Quistis returned she was angry she said that the toilet was foul and that she was going to find Seifer. She looked but couldn't find him so just went back to Camp.

We had more luck finding Seifer than Quistis did though. Our cameras found him sitting by the river, contently reading, 'The Princess Diaries.' When Seifer saw the cameras though, he threatened to sue us if we told anybody what he was reading.

When Seifer came back, Quistis immediately confronted him about the smell in the toilet. She said,

"There are six other people in this camp you know! You can't just…" He replied by saying.

"Look you can't do anything about it and I can't do anything about it so just leave it."

In the evening that everybody was sitting around the campfire talking, when suddenly a bag was lowered down from a treetop. Seifer looked up and said,

"Hey look, there's some b*****d in a tree up there!" Rinoa and Selphie ran around screaming and Zell threw twigs at the person in the tree. There was no sound so he threw a stone up there just to make sure. Then there was a scream and a guy fell from a tree in to the camp. He told everyone that he was just lowering food into the camp and that they were all a bunch of ungrateful s**t h***s. Then two cameramen dragged him away. Quistis went up to the bag. It had a note on it, which said,

'Use your elected chef to cook the food.' Everyone looked at each other. They had forgotten to elect a chef. All of a sudden there was a lot of shouting. Evryone in camp seemed to want to be a chef, except for Squall that is. Then, suddenly, Squall began to yell at everyone.

"Look! We're all gonna have to get along so everyone just shut up! I'll be chef!!!" 

Dinner was eaten in silence. The only time that anyone spoke was when Irvine said.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I assassinated Edea?"


	4. Day four

Chris: We're baaaack!

Kara: Sure are! And…who is that?

Chris: Who?

Kara: Him! And HIM!

Dec: Excuse me! 

Chris: Hahaha, he ish small!

Dec: Shut up mate, I could take you on any day.

Kara: Who are you people?

Ant: WHO ARE WE!? What do you mean who are we? Everyone knows us!!!

Kara: Well I don't.

Chris: I don't either.

Dec: Humph! I'm Dec and he's Ant. We used to present a show called 'I'm a _Celebrity_ get me out of here!' 

Kara: Oh…em.

Chris: You've come all the way to Australia to tell us that?

Ant: NO! We have come here to take you off the air for copying our show!

Chris: Listen 'Ant', if you try and do anything like that I'll punch you…

               (Ant punches Chris in the face and knocks him out)    

Kara: Oh for God's sake! 

       (Kara goes into the corner and punches the living daylights out of Ant and Dec)

Kara: Annnnywaaaay, moving swiftly on…. let's take a look at what happened in day two!

                                             Day 2

It was treasure chest day today. Rinoa and Squall were on duty. They left camp hand in hand to find the chest together.

 Rinoa saw the first clue but it was underneath a log so she asked squall to get it. He did so but when he stood up he noticed that one of his belts was caught under the log and his trousers ripped. Rinoa started to giggle but Squall said. 

"It's not funny!" Then Rinoa asked Squall why he had so many belts anyway but Squall then said it was none of her business and that he only had three belts. Rinoa ignored him and then pointed out that if he didn't have so many belts, his pants wouldn't have ripped. Squall then took the muddy clue and smeared it over Rinoa's face, and then he went back to camp in a mood.

Rinoa also returned to camp in a mood and treasure chestless. Zell confessed that he was hoping that there would be some hotdogs in the chest. Rinoa and Squall didn't speak to each other for the day. 

Rinoa, Selphie and Quistis decided to go for a bath in the river so the got their swimming costumes on and went right in, then went back out again because it was too cold and then slowly went in again. After the girls had gone, Seifer suggested that he, Squall, Irvine and Zell took a nice walk down to the river. Squall said no, Zell said yeah and Irvine said he would of but he felt really ill. Zell then said. 

"Okay, you coming Sei?" Seifer rolled his eyes and said.

"Forget it, I'm not going with you, hotdog boy." And with that, he walked away. Zell was going to run after him but Squall held him back and Irvine, well he lay on his bed with a sheet over his head. Our cameras found Seifer, again, reading the princess diaries. Good thing he didn't see us! 

Just before tea everybody was saying that they were bored, except for Irvine that is, who was sprawled over his camp bed snoring. Quistis kept muttering about how everyone might have not been so bored if Rinoa and Squall had got the treasure chest. Rinoa then told Quistis to shut up, she also complained that she had a headache and went to bed early but when Seifer reminded her that she hadn't even had tea yet, she got out of bed and sat back around the camp fire. 

Everyone was waiting for tea; it's all they really could do. They couldn't really have a good conversation because every five seconds Irvine would butt in with his snoring. When the little bag of food was finally lowered into camp, everyone smiled. We could then hear the producers shouting at the camp and telling him that 

"The ratings are going to go down if you lot don't stop being so dam boring!" I don't think our seven contestants heard though because there was no reaction. 

The mood kept going from high to low in camp. Low when everybody was bored, high when tea arrived and then low when they found out that it was rice for tea-again, the same as the night before.

After tea everyone was, yet again, bored. Selphie suggested that they could listen to her 'really scary' ghost stories. As soon as she mentioned them, Rinoa said that she was going to bed because of her 'headache'.  Squall said,

"If you think for one minute that I would sit here and listen to you making a fool of yourself with your ghost stories, you've got another thing coming." Quistis, Rinoa, Zell and Seifer nodded in agreement. But ten minutes later…

"Then Jasper turned to his brother and said "But golly Whiffy, you can't scare people." Then Whiffy laughed at Jasper and said. "Yes we can Jasper, we're ghosts, it's what we do." " Zell butted in on Selhies story and muttered. 

"Geez, I wish you could tell us a story about Whiffy, Podge and Flexy."  Selphie put on a sad look and Seifer said.

"C'mon Selphie, they were a whole lot more exciting than 'Jasper the friendly Ghost." Selphie shot another sad look but this time it was meant for Seifer. She told everyone that she hadn't even finished the story yet and that there was more to come. As soon as she said this, Squall said he felt extremely ill and he went to bed. Selphie was about to carry on with her story but then Seifer yelled at her.

"SELPHIE! THIS IS THE STUPIEDST GHOST STORY THAT I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! I AM GOING TO BED!" Selphie told Seifer to be quiet or else he'll wake Squall, Irvine and Rinoa up, especially Squall because he felt really ill. Seifer sniggered and the clambered in to bed. 

"Ah Quistis, you liked my stories, didn't you?" Selphie asked. Quistis shuffled around uncomfortably. 

"Erm…yeaah…they were...interesting.." Selphie's face beamed. 

"Great! Then you can listen to the rest of  'Jasper the friendly ghost'!" Quistis buried her head in her hands and listened.

" Then Podge, Whiffy and Flexy looked at Jasper. "We promise we will never scare anyone again Jasper." Jasper smiled at his brothers and said. "Gosh that's great fella's just great." And they all lived happily ever after." Selphie had finally finished her story. She hadn't noticed that Quistis had fallen asleep-no wonder it _was_ 12.00am. Selphie frowned and then fell asleep herself. 


End file.
